Subscribe: Apple Podcasts · Spotify · YouTube · Amazon Music · iHeartRadio · Pandora · RSS
Episode Summary
You’re staring at 17 pots on a four-burner stove and wondering why nothing’s cooking right. Revenue is up. The team is bigger. Your calendar is packed. And you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and a little inadequate, like everyone else has the balance figured out and you’re the only one drowning. I had Gail Golden on to call BS on that whole story. Gail spent 20 years as a clinical psychologist, went back and got her MBA at 50, and now consults to Fortune 1000 leaders and middle-market owners on how psychology shows up in the way they run their lives and their companies. Her book, Curating Your Life, throws out the work-life balance myth and replaces it with a model I haven’t been able to stop thinking about: you are a museum curator, your life is the exhibit, and the only real question is what goes in the great hall, what goes in the side room, and what doesn’t go in at all. We got into the 168-hour constraint, why energy (not time) is what you actually manage, the three questions every owner should be asking right now (am I having fun, am I doing good work, am I making money), and why recurating your exhibit almost always involves loss, but it’s loss with a payoff on the other side.
Watch on YouTube
## Top 10 Takeaways- You can’t manage time. You can manage energy. Ask “do I want to use my energy for this,” not “do I have time for this.”
- Your life is a four-burner stove. Adding a pot means taking one off, or nothing cooks right.
- Work-life balance is a myth. Curation is the better model: decide what goes in the great hall, the side room, and the trash.
- Three questions tell you where you are: are you having fun, doing good work, and making money.
- Most of what you do, you’ll be mediocre at. Drain the guilt out of mediocrity so you can pour energy into your greatness.
- Saying no is its own skill. Knowing your exhibit makes the no possible. Conversational craft makes the no land.
- Recuration happens two ways. Something forces it on you, or you choose it. Both are a shock to the system.
- Rapid growth breaks your old exhibit. The role that worked at ten employees doesn’t work at a thousand.
- High performers sprint and recover. The 24/7 hustle story is a productivity killer dressed up as a virtue.
- Selling the stove doesn’t fix the 17 pots. Recurate while you still own the business, before burnout makes the decision for you.
Sound Bites
“100% of the companies on the planet that I’ve ever met are underpriced… we’ve been talking about work-life balance for as long as I can remember. And I have never met a person who has a balanced life.” (@TBD) — Gail Golden
“If you have a stove with four burners on it, how many pots can you cook at the same time? Four. The point is, most people think it’s a trick question. It’s not.” (@TBD) — Gail Golden
“Fear is the dominant emotion… I had a choice that I could be bored, or I could be scared. And I chose scared. For me, boredom is worse than fear.” (@TBD) — Gail Golden
“There are people who will not hire you because you’re Jewish. There are people who will not hire you because you’re a woman. There are people who will not hire you because you’re 50 years old. Those are stupid people and you don’t want to work for them.” (@TBD) — Gail Golden
“I personally have this completely warped sense of how much time I actually have, how much is possible given the time that is in each month in each year, and what is possible given the long-term goals that I have.” (@TBD) — Ryan Tansom
About This Episode
Gail Golden is a licensed clinical psychologist turned management consultant and the founder of Gail Golden Consulting, an international network of senior consultants and executive coaches. She holds a BA in psychology from the University of Chicago, a PhD in clinical psychology from Indiana University, and an MBA from the University of Western Ontario, which she earned mid-career at age 50. Her book Curating Your Life: Ending the Struggle for Work-Life Balance draws on decades of work with overwhelmed parents in her therapy practice and high-flying executives in her consulting practice. She has been quoted in Fast Company, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and Today’s Chicago Woman.
Resources Mentioned
- Curating Your Life: Ending the Struggle for Work-Life Balance by Gail Golden — The book this conversation is built around. Searchable on Google and available through major online booksellers.
- Gail Golden Consulting — Gail’s firm and contact info.
- The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz — The book Gail credits for the “manage energy, not time” and “sprint and recover” frameworks.
- Essentialism by Greg McKeown — Referenced by Ryan as a related read on saying no.
- Finish Big by Bo Burlingham — Referenced by Ryan on owner regret after exit.
- The Princess Bride — Source of the line “life is pain, and anybody who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.”
Connections
Phase + Module:
- Module 1 — Ownership Goals — The exhibit is the owner’s vision. Curation is how you decide what gets your time, money, and energy.
Milestones:
- Milestone 1 — Time & Role Goals — The four-burner stove and the recuration question live here. What role do you want, and what are you taking off the burner to make space for it?
Concepts referenced:
- 168-hour constraint — The great equalizer Gail and I keep circling back to. Energy is finite inside a fixed time box.
- The Owner-Operator Trap™ — The exhibit that worked at ten employees breaks at a thousand, and most owners don’t notice until they’re burned out.
- iBD North Star™ — The “what do I want” question is the front door to every recuration decision.